I've written this story months after everything began.  Working from the end moving back to the beginning.   A couple of days prior to finding my mother on the floor of her apt, the whole thing was kicked off with a phone call from American Express looking for my mother.   Not knowing if this was a phising call or real.  I only listened...then called my mother.  It wasn't unsual for my mom to not answer if she was out.  So I didn't worry.  It also wasn't unusual for her to not call back immediately or reply to an email straight away either.  So I didn't start to really worry until a few days had gone by.    This whole thing took place from Feb 10, 2011 and ended Jun 15, 2011.  The first post I wrote was after my Mother passed away.   

For the past few days I've been trying to reach Mom...no answers, no return calls or emails.   She and I both had a dentist appointment two weeks ago, maybe she had a follow up appointment with them.  So I call our dentist to see if she's been back since.  Nope they haven't seen or heard from her either.   I'm worried.  It takes me an hour to find the phone number of her building.

I ask them when was the last time they saw my mother.  They tell me they are worried.  That it's been two weeks since they last saw her.  They  have mail and packages that have been piling up downstairs for her.  They tell me they have sent people up to her apt, but no answer.  I'm really nervous now, shaking.   I ask them when was the last time anyone went up to her apartment.  They tell me this morning.  My heart drops.  I ask did you smell anything odd when standing outside her apartment.  No, nothing.  Ok.  Yes, I'll be in a bit.  No worries, I have the key to her apartment. See you soon.  I hang up the phone.  My manager leans in and tells me "You need to leave now".  I turn and yes, I just need a few minutes to collect myself.

My firm calls me a car and I ride into the city to my mother's apt.  At the front desk at her building I talk to the doorman and ask...the same questions I asked on the phone.  I half hoped that he'd tell  me something different.   He asks do you want us to send someone with you to her apartment.  No.   I'll go.  All the way to her apt, I had 4 separate visions of what I might find.  1.  she was dead, 2.  she was unconscious, 3. she was there and pissed at me for worrying, and 4 she wasn't there, but maybe in either a hospital unconscious or a morgue.  Luckily I found her on the floor of her apt, next to the bed with her head pinned under the dresser.   It was clear it had been days.  I free her from under the dresser.  But can see I need the EMT's to help.   I only know that things are critical.

The EMT's show up, and they being working.  They tell me to find her insurance and id.  I search and find her wallet...her id and insurance cards are there I grab the wallet.   We head to Bellevue.   The next few hours are critical.  Enroute to the hospital I call her doctor's office tell them...and alert them that I will call back to get info.

I start answering the doctors and nurse's questions.   We have a few minutes, I call the doctor again to find out about her medicines and current conditions, when did they last see her etc.  I know her dentist last saw her 2 weeks ago.  I call him to get info too, plus he's a friend.  I know I have her living will, her health care proxy.  Can't remember the attorney's name, just the first name.  I hope our accountant remembers the name and contact info.   So I send an email to get the info.  By 4am she has a bed in ICU...and I feel like I can get some sleep.  At least that's what my plan was.  Go home get some sleep and come back in the morning.  Plus try and find out how long she was down on the floor.   

I toss and turn...and finally give up, get up and start making some calls to friends to find out when they last spoke, as well as reaching out to family to let them know.  By 11 am I've found out that she was probably down on the floor for 4 to 5 days.  That she'd been ill for the past 2 weeks.  I've gotten a copy of the documents from the attorney by email so I could give the hospital copies.    My next 4 days are going back and forth to the hospital seeing my mom...and heading to her apt to deal with things there and to assess the situation.  Mom's life is in my hands.

Mon morning, I head in to see Mom in the ICU and her bed is empty.  I stop in my tracks...head to the nurses and ask, has my mother been moved?   I'm hoping the answer is yes...but steel myself against the other option.  She tells me yes, she was moved upstairs this morning early. Whew.

Ok so back out to the information desk to go see Mom.  Now we are restricted to visiting hours.   Ok, I've got an hour wait.   For the past 5 days' I've been in and out of the emergency ICU, now I've got time to relax.  She's in medical, this means recovery.

Finally I get up to see Mom.  I sit with her, meet her new doctors and nurses.  Some of the doctors are those that were called into consult while she was in ICU.   I ask the doctors, how long a recovery might we be looking at?  I need to be able to judge time so I can plan where she goes after the hospital.   I was only thinking of the hospital or home, so a nursing home wasn't on my radar.  The doctors told me that the earliest I would be looking at is 2 weeks and most likely I was looking at 4 weeks before she'd be going somewhere.   

Now I have to begin to make arrangements to clean her apt, organize it and figure out where she will live.  It's obvious to me that she can't really live alone anymore.  She's going to need assisted living facilities.   When I get home it's overwhelming, so I just start thinking of the next thing that needs attention.  One thing at a time.

Every day I see mom I send information updates to friends and family.  I'm so glad 99% of everyone has email, it makes sending the info out so much faster.  I only have to call one or two people to update.

Soon, Mom will be moving to a new place to live, I'll have to figure out what she will need and what she doesn't.  Most of her clothes don't fit.  She's lost a ton of weight.  Nothing fits her.  So much to do.

 Wow that was fast.  I know that hospitals are all about getting patients out the door quickly, but this fast I wasn't expecting.   But everyone tells me that this nursing and rehab facility should be good.  And after a week if she really doesn't like it, I'll start searching for some other place.

It's Friday and we wait for our transportation.  Tomorrow her brother and sister-in-law will be coming up to visit to see her.   Then Sun I'm off for the week for a business conference.  We wait for our transportation.   The doctor's prepare paperwork for me, to give the nursing facility and so do the nurses.   Have to get is copied so I can send to her doctor.    I've set up friends to come visit Mom every day...I've made sure that someone is with her at least once each day I'm away.  Everyone is going to keep me updated how she's doing.

Finally it's 7pm and our transport has arrived.   Off we go, down to the lower east side.  Can't remember the last time I was over in alphabet city...in single digits.  Don't even remember how safe or unsafe the area is.  Oh well I'll find out soon.   We arrive, as we enter the place I'm struck with that tell tale sign of a nursing home.  We've all smelled it, and recognize when we see smell it.  All kinds of images of horrors run through my mind.  Have I done the wrong thing?  Will she be ok?   

For the first time I've met a doctor, and I feel the need to trot out my grandfather's name, hoping that one he'll recognize it and two that it will mean Mom will get better care from him.   He recognize his name.  That's good.  At least he's not a total hack.   I was really concerned.   The nurses made me feel better.  As I wait for thing to happen I notice a woman whose been back and forth to the nurses station about her mother.  Hmm...maybe she can tell me what she thinks of this place, so I ask.  She tells me that she's very happy with it, and the care her mother is getting.  That makes me feel better.

I talk with the nurses about what my mother may need at least for 1 week...so I can get it all for her in the morning.   Also ask about getting the tv and phone set up.  This will have to wait till tues,  it's a holiday weekend.  Ok I'll ask my friend to handle that while I'm away.  This will require a quick shopping trip enroute to see mom.   Its 10pm I head home for rest.

The next morning I'm up and out of the house by 11 so I can buy Mom clothes and supplies.   Meet my Uncle and Aunt for lunch then to see Mom, bring her clothes, get them labelled.   After a little bit of time, Mom wants to get out of bed to go to the bathroom.  So far since this whole thing began she's been bed bound, with a diaper.   Her brother and I try to help her up, but her arms and legs just aren't working.   I check with the nurses and they tell me she's using a diaper.  I come back and let mom know its ok, she has a diaper on.   After a little bit, I leave Mom with her Brother and Sister-in-law and head off to her apt to handle things.

I leave still concerned about the place...but they seem to be taking care of her...so  one week can't be bad, and friends are going to be seeing her and keeping me up to date on how she's doing.  Ok...she'll be alright.

 Mom's been in the nursing and rehab facility for a week.   Now we have a follow up visit with the doctors from Bellevue.   We've got an 11am appointment.   The ambulette is going to pick us up at 9:30.   He's got to two people to transport my mother and other person, were the last to be dropped off.  Damn these things are bouncey.   Mom looks ok.

We arrive at Bellevue about 30 mins before our appt.   We head to the desk to check in.   Of course there is a line.  Then when it's our turn, they send us to another desk.   Another line...and finally were told to go somewhere else.   Ok, I head us there, I check in, there are fewer people and no line.   I wait with Mom, I have some water with me...and give her some, I get her coat off, and open the jacket, it's warm.   Mom is warm.  This is unsual. 

15 mins past the time of our appointment, I go to the desk to find out, and they tell me that the doctor runs late, very late.  I ask them can they find out from the doctor how long.   I'm concerned about my mom.   After 15 more minutes they tell me the doctor should be there in about 30 mins.  Mom is hot.  So I give her more water.  She tells me she's feeling faint.  I tell the people at the desk the nurse comes out and we are rushed inside.  They take mom's blood pressure and its real low 74/41.  We are rushed downstairs to the emergency room.   I'm standing there with my mom, in the wheelchair, the nurse is this tiny string bean of a person, there's no way that he can lift my mom, and nor can I.   I look and standing around are all these FDNY guys they step forward and help, lifting my mother up like she's a piece of paper, and gently place her on the guryney.  We get moved inside...and I'm surprised to learn that we're given to the same station we had when I rushed my mother to emergency when this started.  Wow..the same doctors, the same nurses.

The doctor and I talk I've learned that during the past week while I was away that mom was light headed a few times during her pt.   That along with her stats, the doctors decide to admit her over night.  Since this was Friday that means the weekend.   So we go through waiting for a bed.  Hours, and hours go by.   A female minister drops by the ER to see patients and pray.  She asks my mother if she can pray, and my mother says yes.  So they pray together.

Around 10pm my mother get's a bed and I see that she get's settled...talk with the doctor on duty and the nurses.   Sat morning I'm back, I bring them some mini muffins from Tal Bagels.   And there are more nurses on duty today, because the city university has their student nurses on site, with their instructor too.   So the nursing staff is getting supplemented.  Great.   Mom's stats are looking better.  Sat she's still on the monitors.  Sun they take her off the monitors. 

Mon they want to release her back to the nurseing home...I want to get her into another place.   The social worker is fighting me...and I win...keeping her at Bellevue.  Which turned out to be the best thing I could have done.  Mon night her fever spiked and they were certain that she had contracted c.diff.  So they begin taking the precautions to take care of my mother.

Tues, we get moved to an isolation room.  c.diff is very contagious by touch.  So this means gowns and gloves when visiting my mother.   The isolation is more about us not carrying the infection outside the room...and infecting others in the hospital.  Our immune systems will take care of us...but someone who is compromised should stay away as a precaution for them.    Fewer people are going to visit mom,  so I'm going every day after work to see her.  Just a couple of her friends are now coming to see her.   People are cautious about getting ill themselves.

Now its a matter of time, and how long before the doctors feel she's able to be released from isolatoin.  When that happens she will be able to go to a nursing facility.   Meanwhile I work with the social worker to get her accepted at the Village care.  They do.  Now it's a matter of having a bed on the day Mom's to be released.

Mom's been in isolation for 2 weeks.  We've all had to gown up, and glove up to visit her.  At least we didn't need to put on masks.  c.diff is only contagious via touch...and our immume systems have us protected.  Anyway, I'm glad she gets to go to the village care facility.  It's brand new and it's a 5 star rating.   Almost sounds like it's a 5 star hotel.  It's not.   

The ambulance drivers are in a rush...the hospital hasn't finished thier paperwork.   I want to make sure I've got all the papers for the nursing home for my mother, plus my copy.  Have to send them to her doctor as well.

We make it...wheelchair, suitcase me and mom.  The people greet us, get mom settled.  I handle the paperwork and we won't really start the PT and OT till Monday.  Its friday.  Her roommate seems nice.  The nurses are very nice...so is the social worker.   Mom has a window, looks out on the courtyard.  Typical NY view.  After she's settled for the night...I leave.

Over the next few days I'm there a lot to make sure she's settled and things are going well.   I arrange to get her hair cut and washed.  She's feeling better and looks better.   PT and OT is a struggle.  She's trying.  The nurses and aides are really good with her.  Friends are visiting.   I think things are going to be looking up.

The pressure wounds are looking a bit better.  Not great but better.  The doc tells me they are going to take time.  The big one could take a year because of it's size and degree.  Mom's back to watching the news again.  Great.  But I have noticed she's also getting interested in some other shows that surprise me...but hey if she's interested and engaged that's all that matters.

 A month since my mom was in the hospital from c.diff and we finally get to see the neurologists.  I'm praying that nothing happens in this visit this time.   We've got a 1pm appt.  Its gonna take all day...the morning to get her ready for traveling to the place...time to wait there to see the doctor then waiting time to return to the nursing home.  I just hope this visit is uneventful.  The first time we tried to do this, her blood pressure dropped so much she was admitted to be monitored.   

A friend offers to meet us at Bellevue and wait with us.  That should be good, someone who can be with Mom while I push forward.  Hard to have to cart my mom all over the place in her wheel chair.  Have to make sure she eats and drinks.

We sit, and sit, and sit...2pm, 3pm finally somewhere after 4pm we see the doctor, she talks with my mom...then decides that more tests should be done.  More return trips.  I plead can we do any of it now...so we don't have this all day affair waiting in the waiting room.  It's really not good for her.  They agree to take the blood tests.   Then we head out.    We sit out infront waiting for the ambulette to take us back.  20 mins, 40 mins, finally 1-1/2 hours and they show up.   Can't believe it this day started for me at 6am...for my mom at 9am...and finally around 7pm I get her back to bed...they've got food for her, so she gets dinner.

The doctor's don't know if the fluid on the brian is reversible or not...more tests and evaluations....then maybe, just maybe, they will do a lumbar puncture to see if that improves things, if it does then a shunt.    This is when I realize that this is going to be a very long recovery.   She's going to need a long time.   The wound on her back plus this.   Damn.   Skilled nursing for a long time.   Now I realize that I have to stop looking at assisted facilities and start looking for skilled nursing facilities.  I really want her to have independence, to enjoy life.   We still have hope.

It's May and its clear that Mom is going to need a place that handles long term residents.  So I start searching...found the one I want, but there is a waiting list.  We don't have a year.  So, we start searching again.  I've got 3 I want to check out, 2 all the way downtown and one up at 112th St on the west side.  Oy, not going to be fun.  A friend looks at the place uptown I check out the ones downtown.   We've got two possibles.  112th St and Amsterdam and around the corner from the settlement houses downtown.  A day later the social worker calls tells me Mom has a bed at the on all the way uptown.  Ok, and we move on Mon.  Yikes...that was fast. 

Mon I arrive and pack mom up the transport is suppose to be there to pick us up at 11am.  The nurses haven't released us yet and we are suppose to be heading up.   I keep pushing the nurses...finally around 12:30 we get the papers to leave.  But no transport.  Now I'm bugging them about the transport.  We've been moved out of the room and mom is sitting in her chair.  At 1 they bring us back to her room, I call the place uptown and learn that our social worker never called amsterdam and confirmed our arrival.  Yikes, good thing I called.  We go over and they've still got the bed.   I tell them the transport is suppose to be here in 30 mins so we should be up there after that.

They guys come and get us up to amsterdam we go.  We walk in the door, mom on the stretcher.  We go directly upstairs to her new room, and it's the same room number we just left downtown.  I get her settled in.   The team of doctors and nurses come and check my mother out, inspecting everything...asking questions.  I feel really good about them.  I like them.  Mom does too.

The social worker comes in and I meet her she talks to us tells us that there might be an issue with the roommate at night.   We decide to wait it out and see how it goes.  First few days I'm up every couple of days seeing that she's comfortable...keep asking about the roommate, but Mom says no problem.  Ok...things look good.

After a couple of weeks in the new facility, Mom finally tells me that the roommate is a problem.  I ask what happens.  She screams at night.  Suddenly we have all these people starting to come in the room.   And one is the roommate, I see a look of horror on Mom's face.  Ok that's it.  I'm going to tell them to move her to a quieter room.

I call the social worker the next day, leave a message.  Two day's later I'm at the facility during the day and ask to see her.  I'm told she's out of the office today, but will be checking her messages...and the nurses tell me that it's best to wait to talk to her about moving my mom.  So I try to be patient.   2 more days and I call and find out that this social worker is out sick and that someone else is covering.   I talk to her and 30 minutes later and I'm getting answers to all my questions and issues.   Ok we're under control

The social worker called to tell me they have a new room for Mom.  With a bit more privacy, but best yet a quiet roommate.   So tomorrow morning she moves to the new room.   Great!!!

I wake the in the morning pack up the TV for mom in her new room.  Grab some things and head up to see her and help her get situated in the new space.   It really is semi private, there is a partial wall between the two spaces.  Great.  I hook the TV up, sit with her meet the nurses and social workers.   It's been a busy day, so I leave and let mom rest and get comfortable in the new space.

Fri, I wake and go up to see Mom, and see the doctor covering her now.   It's a beautiful day outside.   She's up in the common room, so after I ask about the doctor, they call him he says he'll call me later or early next week.   After sitting with mom in the common room, I ask the nurses if we can go downstairs into the garden for while.   They give us permission and off we go.

I grab her sunglasses and head down the elevator.  As we enter this man in a white coat, looks at Mom and then reaches out his hand and says i'm Dr...you must be Cornelia's daughter.  Wow was I stunned.  He had only seen mom once and he knew her name and by sight...I'm impressed.

So off we go to the sun and the garden, watching the people go by.   After a while mom is sounding tired and its nearing lunchtime for her...so back upstairs we go.  I leave her and tell her I'll be back on Sun.  Sat morning I get a phone call from the nurses telling me Mom woke with a fever.  They were waiting for confirmation, but they were fairly certain it was pneumonia.   

Later that day I get another call and it's confirmed pneumonia.  The night nurse tells me that she was reviewing my mother's living will and she went over her wishes with me.  I knew this was serious now.  So I asked, how bad is it.  she said, that its serious, but it could get better.

Sun morning I wake, head up to see mom.   I also bring her a clock, radio and cd player.   We sit watching tv, talking about the show.  She's on oxygen and a nebulizer.   Her bed is a air circulating mattress so all these things make noise, so I adjust the TV to show the closed captioning for her...and we sit and watch.   After a while she falls asleep.  I head on home.

Sun night I get a call from the nurse, telling me her breathing was labored and they have put her on morphine to help her breathing and make it easier.  Now I'm starting to get worried.  Monday the doctor calls me to tell me the situation is Guarded.  Whatever that means...then I delve and find out it means it can go either way, good or turn bad.  But it's not an imminent...so we should be good.  Ok I'll be up on Wed to see her.  The doc says we should be good.